The Least Manly Things, Ever

There you are sitting in a dimly lit restaurant with the beautiful woman whom you finally worked up the nerve to ask out on a date. You were initially surprised she responded with that merciful, ‘yes’, but upon delivery your confidence really started to soar. Perhaps that’s why you had no problem ordering the spiciest Thai food on the menu.

The first bite isn’t so bad – at least that’s what you tell yourself. You start to tune out your long winding date’s narrative on growing up in Kansas as the youngest of three, now more gripped by the dilemma of – oh god – needing something to douse the fire in your mouth. You frantically pull your waiter’s sleeve as he passes, almost falling out of your chair to do so – finally sputtering out, “Water!” You, my friend, just loss a serious amount of lad – or man – points. For shame.

Lad points are very real thing in our culture, even if they’re not tangible. In a recent conducted survey, 45.3% of people deemed ordering a glass of milk or water with hot food would result in the loss of one lad point. This probably explains why we try so hard to present the ‘best version’ of ourselves during any initial courtship, quick to sweep our more embarrassing traits under the rug – like an inability to handle spicy foods to the point of assaulting your waiter for a glass of water.

Lad points are transferable across virtually every facet of life, especially the music we listen to. 46.6% of people deem country music to be the most embarrassing genre, subtracting upwards to 5 lad points for those found in violation. If you’re trying to maintain your manliness, probably best you listen to your Garth Brooks at a modest volume.

Having your mother iron your underwear is an act worse than treason. Surveyed people deducted lad points en masse, with a whopping 60.2% deeming it the least manly thing you could do.

The most sinful act when it comes to your lad points standing? Wearing socks and sandals at the same time is a bad choice for your image. Over 70% deem this to be the least manly thing you could pretty much ever do. Going back to that hypothetical date from earlier, if you stream across the restaurant seeking water and your date sees you sporting this combo, you can assume things aren’t going well.

Calculate your own score with Ladbrokes Lad Points system and see where you fall – and try to hold it together during the sad parts of Disney’s Frozen if you actually want to score high.

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