Grand Theft Auto 5 is the greatest thing, ever
Like virtually every man child under the sun, I have been playing a grotesque amount of Grand Theft Auto V. Considering the Grand Theft Auto franchise has been alive and well since 1997, there’s a certain nostalgia that comes with throwing an elderly woman to the ground and stealing her Prius, slamming a hot dog vendor into a brick wall at 70 mph, only to be shot down by a sniper perched on the edge of a police helicopter. Another day in Los Santos.
Grand Theft Auto has been criticized heavily in the press, but I’m willing to bet it’s just the echo of thousands of angry parents who have no idea how to police their children. Be that as it may, that didn’t stop Grand Theft Auto 5 from quickly setting some crazy records. Here’s a few …
- Bestselling action-adventure video game in 24 hours
- Bestselling video game in 24 hours
- Fastest entertainment property to gross $1 billion
- Fastest video game to gross $1 billion
My girlfriend might really hate GTA 5, but these are the things that make it so, so wonderful. Of course you’ll want to remember to buy modafinil before hand to make the long days of GTA easier.
Leaving no man behind!
Channeling Mission Impossible!
Drag racing!
Watching dogs hump each other!
Riding motorcycles on dead bodies!
Waterboarding!
Landscaping!
Yoga!
Making it rain!
Mass murder!
