The Official Sochi Olympics 2014 Drinking Game
There’s nothing more patriotic than representing your country as an athlete during the biggest international event of the year, the Olympic Games. Of course, the second closest thing you can do to make America proud is sit in front of the television with your friends with entirely too much alcohol.
Drink every time you hear this music,
this music (‘Murca!),
and the music of our gracious hosts, because really, it’s the polite thing to do.
Choose an underdog country and finish your beer if they ever win a medal. Like Togo,
Mongolia,
and Zimbabwe …
All of which have a combined total of 5 athletes!
Drink every time you see the ageless Bob Costa,
every time someone explicitly says, “The Flying Tomato,”
every time someone says ‘Sochi’,
and every time you see a clip of Vladimir Putin doing anything,
like this,
or this.
Drink every time they mention the horrid gay propaganda law,
and any time you see US Olympic Delegate & LGBT advocate Billie Jean King being a badass (all the time).
Drink every time the announcers provide an historical fact about Russia,
they show panning shots of Russian buildings, stock shots of people walking around or general transportation.
Drink every time an athlete’s background story makes you legitimately misty eyed,
and every time there’s an obnoxious Subway commercial.
Have a drink every time they mention one of the best sports of all time …
CURLING.
Finally, drink every time they talk about these awesome USA cardigans,
and these unbelievable Mexican ski uniforms.
