2013 was a fantastic year for film, and while I couldn’t get around to watching all of them, I did get to see a handful — eleven to be exact. Here is my ranking of the eleven films I saw in 2013.
11. Spring Breakers
Since I only actually watched eleven films last year, this one has to come in last place. And yes, I did get it: the film was a commentary on our generation of party animals that thrive off of partying and excess until things turn ugly. James Franco was pretty good. Selena Gomez was bad. Those two other slutty girls were okay.
I thought they used too many (two) Skrillex songs. The whole thing seemed a little forced and nothing really happened. I did like the boobs, though. Those were nice.
10. Last Vegas
To be completely honest, I didn’t really “watch” this movie, per se. My dad really wanted to see it and I had nothing better to do. He bought me lunch and the movie ticket so I really had nothing to complain about.
The giant sandwich I ate made me pretty tired and I ended up sleeping throughout the entire movie. I do remember my dad laughing a lot though, so there ya go. Although my dad laughs at anything so I really have no idea how good this movie was.
IMDb gave it a 6.8 out of 10 and Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 47% if that helps.
9. Zero Dark Thirty
Great film. The acting was phenomenal, loved the sub plots, and loved watching the dude from Parks and Recs blow shit up. That was awesome. I remember the movie being a little long but worth it.
8. This Is The End
I really didn’t think I was going to enjoy this movie. To me it seemed as though the entire idea was a circle jerk for all those Apatow guys… Alas, I actually ended up really liking the movie. I loved seeing the actors portray exaggerated versions of themselves. The cameos were hilarious.
I think I actually ended up watching this movie in theaters and on DVD if that counts for anything.
7. The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
As a huge LOTR fan I didn’t even really like the first Hobbit but knew I had to see the second one to say that I did. The movie sucked, to be honest, but it ranks higher than the other movies on this list so far because, again, I’m a huge nerd and I love that shit. I also liked the visual effects.
Although the 3D was somewhat ridiculous and forced at parts (that’s what you get with 3D movies these days), I liked Benedict Cumberbatch as Smaug. Especially because I like saying his name… Cumberbatch… Benedict Cumberbatch.
6. Rastamouse
Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking: “Rastamouse isn’t a movie!” Well, I ended up watching about an hour and a half of this one night and it felt like I was watching a movie. A very repetitive movie where the theme of “making a bad thing good” was repeated over and over and over again.
That song is too good. Catchy. And those poor orphans! Why are they always the victims? If Rastamouse was actually a movie, I bet it would win for best animated feature. Just saying.
5. Blackfish
Definitely one of the most powerful films of the year. I love docs and this one was by far one of the best I’ve seen. I’ve always thought it was pretty fucked up to keep a giant whale in a tiny tank and teach it tricks by starving it to make millions of dollars off of stupid Americans, but this movie brought that idea to a whole new level.
If only those dolphins from The Cove could figure out how to drown those crazy Japanese guys…
4. Life of Pi
Again, I know what you’re thinking: “Life of Pi didn’t come out last year!” Well guess what, I saw it for the first time last year so I’m counting it. Great movie, awesome visual effects, stayed true to the book for the most part and I liked the soundtrack.
3. Gravity
Someone said this was the “Avatar for adults” in terms of the visual effects. I’d say that’s pretty accurate. This movie was a mind fuck. I was on the edge of my seat and, because I saw it in 3D, thought I was going to throw up at some points.
I thought George Clooney was in the film too much. Sandra Bullock looked pretty hot for her age.
2. The Wolf of Wall Street
Alright, real quick, I didn’t actually see this movie. But the trailer was sick and every one of my friends told me I would like it so I’m putting it up at number two. I’m sure when I actually see The Wolf of Wall Street I’ll love it…
1. 12 Years A Slave
In all seriousness this was by far the best movie I saw in 2013. It’s actually one of the best films I’ve seen in a long, long time. Heart wrenching and hard to watch at moments, 12 Years A Slave was a fantastic and real look into the years that America was fucked up enough to enslave humans for labor.
Loved the performances by Paul Giamatti, Brad Pitt, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender, Lupita Nyong’o, Paul Dano, and hey guess who else was in this movie! BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH! I also just learned his full name is Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch. Even more fun to say!
Anyway, the entire cast was phenomenal and the movie was by far and away one of the best films I’ve seen in my entire life and the best film I saw in 2013. Out of 11 films.
