The Facebook Statuses of People You Shouldn’t Date

“I should have known better.”
Cryptic messages that could be aimed at anyone, even you! Was it because you didn’t end your text with a smiley face? These people are overly dramatic, if you try and ask what’s wrong they will likely respond with “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You’re my EX, thanks for the EXperience, now our time has EXpired, EXit my life”
People who constantly bash their ex aren’t fooling anybody: they’re either immature or still hung on their former flame. This person might also be a stage 5 clinger. Avoid.

“Just got kicked out of a Walgreens again!”
Someone who constantly updates about getting kicked out of places, getting in fights, or getting into confrontations is probably not someone you want to bring home to Mom.

“If u gonna talk shit, say it to my fuckin face”
A person who makes non-discriminate pissy posts probably has no concept of how real life works and suffers from an acute case of mouth diarrhea.

“GOD is the answer, GOD is the truth”
It’s fine if you date someone who is religious, but if they’re bashing everyone over the head with the good word, get out.

“I’m so random!”
People who use the word “random” for things that are fairly normal are usually dull human beings. “Omg I went to the dollar store today, I’m so random! XD” No, you’re an idiot.

“Be a voice, not an echo”
People who post annoying uplifting quotes, especially with the text on a picture of flowers probably have the personality of wet cardboard and will get pissed at you if you masturbate.

“Really Starbucks employee? You had to give me a regular mocha instead of a white chocolate mocha?”
Chronic complainers are littered throughout the internet, don’t get bogged down by their incessant need to be recognized for their constant misery. Their lives are obviously soooo difficult.

“So dgdsnk rightj now
This person might be a real riot when you’re knocking back a few bottles, but they’re probably the type of people who calls their exes at 3am crying or throws up in your car.

“If you think that Obama can turn this country around, then you can delete me.”
Standard political asshole, forget having your own opinions if you date this person, they can’t stand being wrong. “Didn’t you want to see that movie?” “NO!  How could you even think that!”

“I look so gross today”
This person is just dying for someone to reply with a “Shut up, you’re beautiful!” They appraise themselves based on the feedback of others and are prone to becoming irrationally jealous or moody in an instant.

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